True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
