We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize