do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
