Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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