every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize