the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
