oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Please, let me fuck your mom
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
