I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
