I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Two words: blizzard sex
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
