I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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