wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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