watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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