I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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