my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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