You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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