Ambien. No doubt about it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
