WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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