Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
