you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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