508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
