C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
