i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i think im in europe. pls send help
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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