I'm jealous of your bromance
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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