I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Pants are for mortals
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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