she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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