Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
