Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize