The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
