she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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