There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
