You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
