She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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