im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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