So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize