: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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