I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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