OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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