i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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