it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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