organizing the empties. That sober.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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