Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
should my penis look like a turkey
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
