Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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