pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
