batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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