just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
