if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
