Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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