My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
