Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
