I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
