Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
