do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
