is your mom at the bar?
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
