I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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