Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize