they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
