Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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