dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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