bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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