I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
