I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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