Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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