how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
