so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
