woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What a dumb baby whore.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
