this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He has the fingertips of a God
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize