I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
