I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
