ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
