My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
