using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
