Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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