Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
bring money and cleavage
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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